How to Negotiate with Your Boss Part I — Pamela Caravas

Remember the Devil Wears Prada? Do you think you would be able to negotiate with Miranda Priestly if she was your boss? Do you think you could or want to go against her need for success and specific values system? Disclaimer: men negotiate quite differently from women and members of the LGBTQ community have a different negotiation style from the other two. So, depending on who you are and how you feel, it is your very own personality that will eventually guarantee – or not – your success.

Most of the time, as a strategy for success at the negotiation table, you try to enter the other person’s mind, you try to understand their intentions, to try to read them. In the case of Miranda, her personality was as clear as it gets and her intentions were business-focused and profit-oriented. No point in entering her head because it lay wide open for you to see. What if it is not a “Miranda”? What if your boss is John Milton (Al Pacino) from the Devil’s Advocate? At first presenting himself to Kevin (Keanu Reeves) as a caring and nurturing father figure and then teaching him in the toughest and deadliest way possible what it means to be ambitious and wanting it all without negotiating your soul. You can’t read the “Devil”, can you?

So, in this case, profiling, reading people successfully, does not work. Nor does kindness – especially if your boss’ intentions are profit-focused at all costs. Fair enough, you may be able to read her, especially if you have been working with her for some time, and you can be kind, but to what effect when it comes to negotiating your objectives and your goals or needs? I have been coaching so many corporate guys and women and even more ladies with the UN (UNDP, UNHCR) over the past few years. Whether in London or Paris or New York (none in LA, yet) or Singapore, Dubai, etc., the question remains the same: “How do I negotiate what I want to gain?”

Blog3+how+to+negotiate+image2 — Can you negotiate with the Devil?

Whether it is the devil in the Devil Wears Prada or the devil in the Devil’s Advocate, make sure you know what kind or a devil it is: one you can read or one you cannot?

The answer lies (a) in your ability to define your personality with actions within your professional environment, and (b) in your ability to use language in a way that seems open and giving. The simultaneous development of the following will guide you in the right direction as regards (a):

· Define your personality: what do you trigger in others generally and specifically?

· Manifest your personality with actions: it’s about what you do, not what your boss says or does.

· Deal with Red Circumstances: do not crack under pressure.

· Develop critical thinking: dance like Muhammad Ali.

· Engage in fast decision-making based on the right data: be intelligent, knowledgeable and informed

A Short Analysis

Define. Let’s start with that because it may seem easy, but it is not. You know who you are and you are quite aware of it. Who you are triggers reactions in the other person, your boss. If you are oblivious to what you might be triggering in other people, the harder it will be for you to contain the damage, as they say in crisis management.

So, is the solution self-awareness? No, it is not as light as that. It has to do more with your ability to ignore the “power” of the other person and less with being self-aware. The skill you need to develop here is self-assurance and the confidence to balance between your inner motivation and the pressure a negative environment may put on you.

Negotiating is acting, it is doing something, it is not receiving passively in order to respond – though some people might use this as a strategy. For me, this strategy has flaws in the long run. But that is another story. Coming back to the action element of negotiating, developing the skill of being prepared and coming up with scenarios and possible solutions is step one. However, not my favourite solution.

I would rather you develop the skill of thinking on your toes, of delivering under pressure without cracking. This is how you define your personality in action. This is your tool. Your strategy when your boss knows exactly how to play the game, has the authority and has the final word. Negotiations is like the “dance” that Muhammad Ali did in the ring. Fast and sure. Never in one spot. Creating the unexpected in the exchange. This is what you should be aiming for with your personality and poise.

Part II deals with your ability to use language in a way that seems open and giving. Stay tuned.